Desk rage: Workers gone wild

Jacqueline Stenson MSNBC contributor

The high-stress world of corporate event planning was getting to Mary Tribble and her business partner. At times when deadlines were near and clients were making seemingly impossible demands, the two of them would turn on each other. Shouts flew, doors slammed, teardrops fell.

“In conflict, I tend to retreat and cry, and she tends to confront,” says Tribble, founder of the Tribble Creative Group in Charlotte, N.C. “It wasn’t very healthy.” 

The women were suffering from what psychologists call “desk rage," on-the-job anger that industry observers say is increasingly rearing its nasty head in stress-filled offices and other workplaces across America.

Some desk-ragers “go postal,” screaming, cursing, trashing office equipment, even assaulting others. But desk rage also manifests as a slow boil that leads to gossiping at the water cooler, backstabbing, poor productivity, abusing sick days, stealing supplies or becoming irritable or depressed. Some people simply get fed up, stop communicating, put on a headset and emotionally “check out.”

Desk rage isn't something companies like to publicize, so there are few statistics on it. But a 2001 survey of 1,305 workers, commissioned by Integra Realty Resources in New York City, found that 42 percent of respondents said there was yelling and other verbal abuse in their office, 23 percent said they have been driven to tears because of workplace stress and 10 percent said employees have actually resorted to physical violence.

Corporate consultants say they're busy dealing with employees who behave badly.

“I hear comments, more and more, like, ‘Oh my gosh, by Friday we don’t talk to Tom because he’ll bite your head off,’” says Susan Enyeart, manager for curriculum development at the National Seminars Group, a division of Rockhurst University in Kansas City, Mo., that conducts continuing business education programs and conferences nationwide.

In August, her group introduced — by popular demand — a new workshop titled “How to Manage Emotions and Excel Under Pressure” that’s aimed at helping companies combat desk rage. Human resources personnel asked for the course to help deal with office temper tantrums and other destructive work behavior.

"A lot of people are in workplaces where they are being emotionally abused and bullied and that can take a toll," says Paul Spector, a professor of industrial and organizational psychology at the University of South Florida in Tampa. "It's becoming much more socially acceptable to be mean and nasty to others."

Quiz: How vulnerable are you to stress? Interactive: How stress affects your body Quiz: Are you at risk for job burnout? Video: Do monks get stressed? Does it work? Reviews of stress products Quiz: Are you a competitive stresser? Take a stress break with these videos   Discuss: Share your stress stories and tips

Anna Maravelas, a psychologist and self-described “corporate peacemaker” in St. Paul, Minn., says she regularly sees anger, hostility, rudeness and general inhumanity in the workplaces where she consults. For instance, a corporate vice-president told her, “I pay my people well, I don’t have to appreciate them too,” and a bank employee said, “Being nice here is seen as a weakness.”

Never catching a break
A generational shift may be partly to blame for the rise in desk rage, according to Enyeart, who’s been in the business for 20 years.

“People are more likely to wear their emotions out on their sleeves than in the past,” she says. The older baby boomers are retiring and being replaced with a younger generation who’ve been brought up to air their discontent.

What to do when rage strikes Reacting in the heat of the moment may only make matters worse, says psychologist John Weaver, a corporate consultant in Waukesha, Wis. So before you blow your top, he recommends trying these steps to cool off: — Breathe. When we're angry, we tend to hold our breath. So take a few minutes and focus on breathing naturally. It will help calm you down. — Put pen to paper. Jot down what is upsetting you and put the note on your to-do pile. That way you can finish your work at hand and deal with the inflammatory matter later when you've had time to calm down and think about constructive ways of dealing with it. — Daydream. Take your mind off what's stressing you out by mentally shifting your focus to something pleasurable, maybe a favorite vacation spot, your flower garden or a pet.

And it’s not hard to find something to be unhappy with in the modern workplace: heavy workloads, long hours and technology that keeps workers constantly on call. “They never get a break from their work responsibilities,” says Enyeart.

With laptops, PDAs, cell phones, e-mail and pagers, there is an ever-widening gap between the amount of information people are expected to keep up with and the amount they can reasonably process, says Dr. Kerry Sulkowicz, a psychiatrist and founder of the Boswell Group, a corporate consulting company in New York City. “The technology is outstripping our capacity to use it,” he says.

Management turnover, downsizing and outsourcing are other sources of stress, making workers feel their jobs aren’t secure.

“We’re being squeezed," says Maravelas, author of "How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress." "We’re just burning out.”

Stuff stressed workers in a crowded, noisy cubicle — in what’s been termed the “Dilbertization” of America — and you have the recipe for desk rage.

MORE FROM STRESSED OUT

Stressed Out Section Front

Strategies for handling a stress-filled life Readers share how they handle stress Can you fight stress with your wallet? Is stress actually good for you? Stress-offs: Let the most frazzled win! Desk rage: Job stress fuels tirades, assault Stressed Out Section Front   Add Stressed Out headlines to your news reader: