Do I need deodorant for my dog?
Another reason to love dogs! While your hairy boyfriend may have pit stains on his T-shirt, your dog never will—he doesn’t sweat through his armpits. One of his only ways of sweating is through the pads of his feet. That said, I work with a lot of fit, athletic dogs (such as greyhounds or sled dogs) and have yet to see a dog’s feet sweat while exercising. Your dog’s paw sweat glands are a minor way of heat release, as the main way he thermoregulates and controls his body temperature is by panting.

And so, to answer your question, no, your dog does not need deodorant! Instead, make sure he has plenty of cool water, shade, and time to pant and blow off all that hot air. This is particularly important to remember when he’s running back and forth with a tennis ball in his mouth while you have him out for a walk. You may think it’s cute for him to carry his own toy back home, when really it’s safer for you to carry it back (along with his poop bag!). Lugging his own tennis ball in his mouth may occlude his ability to pant well and can make him overheat.

Why do dogs have dewclaws?
Why does your dog have that cute but annoying little claw on the side of his leg, the one that will occasionally get caught on things and start bleeding? That first “finger” or digit is frequently absent in some dogs; if it’s present, you’re the proud owner of a dog with a dewclaw. This extra finger can vary from a tiny vestigial skin flap to a fully developed finger. Evolutionarily, dogs didn’t have to hold pens or use utensils, so their need for a thumb was reduced to a minimum and they were left with this cute, albeit useless, appendage. Some dogs can live with them without ever having any problems, but hunting dogs, working dogs, or those who hike and run a lot may have a higher chance of having their extra finger or toe traumatized.

These little dewclaws are often removed by the breeder within the first few days of birth, but if your dog happens to still have his, you can easily have the dewclaws removed when he’s neutered under anesthesia. Otherwise, you might end up having to pay for it later on a more emergent (and more expensive) visit when he rips his dewclaw off while running in the dog park.

If Fido can’t pick or blow his nose, will his nostrils get clogged?
Thankfully, Fido doesn’t have to blow or pick his nose. Nor do you have to do it for him. For breeds with a smushed face, this would be physically hard to do.

You may hear Fido periodically sneeze to try to get something out of his nose. Ever hear Fido reverse sneeze? That’s the loud, snorting noise that sounds like Fido is choking and dying; in reality, he’s probably just trying to clean out his nose passageways. That reverse sneeze basically changes the pressure in the nasal cavity and causes Fido to suck in all that mucous-y goodness and swallow it. If Fido is constantly sneezing, something may be stuck in his nose, so bring him to a vet to get it checked out. Otherwise, he should manage just fine without any Kleenex.

Do dogs snore or get sleep apnea?
When you pick that first puppy, do remember that certain breeds snore more than others. Snoring is the noise caused by the vibration of tissue in the back of the throat. A word to the wise: if you’re a light sleeper, a bulldog, mastiff, Lhasa apso, pug, shih tzu, Pekingese, or shar-pei may not be the breed for you! We’re talking massive vibrations, people.

Usually, the anatomy of Schnauzy’s nose and throat are what cause him to snore, so there’s little that can be done, but sometimes certain factors like obesity, allergies, aging, and certain medications do play a part. It’s important to distinguish snoring from difficulty breathing, a tracheal problem (tracheal collapse), or even from reverse sneezing. When in doubt, videotape the episode to show your veterinarian. Otherwise, if Schnauzy has been snoring all his life, you might want to invest in earplugs and accept the fact that your dog will provide the musical accompaniment to your dreams—all of them.

If I mix Fluffy’s kibble with food coloring, will it make her poop easier to find in the yard?

Sigh. This is the type of question I can’t believe I went to vet school for (thirteen years!). Nevertheless, we will forge ahead.

Rumor has it that Iams/Eukanuba actually considered this a few years back. This well-known dog food company is known for their pink logo and color, and it was suggested by a client that they make their dog food pink so it’d be, um, easier to find upon depletion. Thankfully, they haven’t heeded that advice yet. I’ll continue the story by saying that one day, hours after a particularly hearty beet salad, what I saw in the bathroom made me wonder if I might be dying. I called my mother to say good-bye, then called my sister to remind her that she still owed me $400. After a few minutes of fear, and then finally enlightenment, I sat back down and thought, “Hmmm. Next year, I’ll plant radishes instead of beets.” For those of you who still don’t get it, go out and eat a large beet salad and see what I mean. . . . If we could feed them to dogs, I think we’d have the problem solved. The moral of this story is, yes, it’s certainly possible to dye Fluffy’s poop, just be forewarned—your neighbors may find you to be very, very strange.

Why does my dog’s pee turn my lawn brown?
Animals and humans have a high nitrogen content in their urine, but dogs are the ones who pee outside and get caught red-handed. While nitrogen is one of the key ingredients in fertilizer, the concentration and amount in dog urine is so high that it actually burns and kills the grass. You can minimize the damage to your lawn using these tricks of the trade. First, have your dog do what my dog, JP, does: lift his leg and pee through the chain-link fence onto the neighbor’s lawn. My neighbor has such horrible brown spots and really should take the time to care for his lawn (luckily, he doesn’t have any pets, so the likelihood he’ll buy this book and discover this is minimal). Secondly, consider constructing a graveled area in the back of your yard. I have a graveled area with hostas and ferns, and when I give JP the command to “go to the back,” he knows what I mean. I’ve trained him so that it’s the first place he goes to urinate, without any grass burning in the process. Third, consider watering the area down after your dog urinates. Dilution is the solution to pollution, so you can minimize the damage and severity of grass burns by just pouring water on it. Finally, there are holistic medications out there that work by changing the pH of Fido’s pee, but as a veterinarian, this can be playing with fire (or nitrogen). Certain crystals or stones may form in an altered urine pH, so changing Fido’s pH just to save your lawn is not safe unless it’s medically advised.

If I get my dog’s gastrointestinal worms, will it help me lose weight?
Gastrointestinal parasites can result in severe blood loss through the intestinal tract, weight loss, chronic diarrhea, or anal itching. Not an ideal way for you to lose weight (unless you are one of those self-flagellating types). There’s also the issue that most gastrointestinal parasites are specific to a particular host species. In other words, if it’s a cat or dog intestinal worm, this worm would typically stay in the intestinal tract of that species. However, if the parasite gets into a nontraditional species (i.e., to you), the worm doesn’t “know” where to go; instead of just migrating through the intestines, the worm ends up migrating throughout the body, including the eyes and skin. This can result in cutaneous larva migrans (a fancy way of saying that larvae are migrating through your skin, body, and eyes), and can even result in blindness in children. For this reason, it is very important to make sure that your dog is routinely dewormed, and that children and adults wash their hands after exposure to animal feces. This is another reason why it’s so important and part of your responsibility as a pet owner to pick up your dog’s poop wherever you are! (See lecture on poop-scooping, page 86). Cutaneous larva migrans is a devastating but rare disease. On a side note, this disease is why you should lie on a towel on the beach in Mexico, as worms can survive in the sand and crawl into your skin. Sandworms are serious business, and this is the primary safety reason why dogs are not welcome on beaches. If the worms move from the dog to the sand, to you, it’s unlikely that Kevin Bacon or Beetlejuice will come to your rescue. So don’t forget that towel!

Excerpted from "It’s a Dog’s Life...but It’s Your Carpet" by Dr. Justine Lee Copyright © 2008 by Dr. Justine Lee. Excerpted by permission of Crown, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. For more information, visit Dr. Justine Lee's Web Site, http://www.drjustinelee.com/

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