When to tell the boss that you are pregnant

By Tara Weiss

updated 3:44 p.m. ET Aug. 7, 2008

Laura Stager couldn't wait to share with her co-workers the news that she was pregnant. But once she did, a strange thing started happening: People who barely talked to her before the announcement started rubbing her belly; even more uncomfortable, colleagues ask her weekly how much she weighs.

Stager learned the best way to deal with these new realities is to be honest. For the weight question, she replies with something like, "I don't think you're supposed to ask that." As for the touching, she tolerates it from her closest colleagues, but for others, she simply says, "hands off."

These are the small issues that come with telling the office you're expecting. But there are larger ones, too. Most co-workers will be thrilled, but some bosses won't share the excitement, a possibility that causes some pregnant women to conceal their growing stomachs for as long as possible.

Women who worked hard to climb the corporate ladder worry the boss will put them on the "mommy track," giving them less-challenging projects. This is of particular concern to women who are on a partnership track and need to demonstrate certain skills to advance. Others fear their manager will work them extra hard so they can do as much as possible before taking maternity leave.

But you can't keep your pregnancy a secret forever, and it's best to start planning early how you'll transition to maternity leave. Most experts suggest telling the boss your news after the first trimester, a time when the risk for a miscarriage greatly decreases. The only time to tell the boss sooner would be if you're experiencing a difficult pregnancy or severe morning sickness, and need to take time off from work. No matter what, tell the boss before other colleagues — it's a sign of respect.

Once you inform the boss, meet with human resources to discuss how much maternity leave your state and company offers and what portion of the leave is paid. Each state provides different leave plans. It's also a good time to re-read the company handbook, since it provides information on the firm's policies.

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At the meeting with HR, ask how much paid vs. unpaid time you'll receive; what happens if you need to go on bed rest; and what documents you need your obstetrician to complete. Employers usually require the employee's doctor to certify that she's pregnant and list the expected due date.

Many companies develop their maternity leave policy based on the Family Medical Leave Act, which protects an employee's position for up to three months. But employees who are with a company under a year or those employers with a staff of less than 50 don't qualify. If that's the case, find out what your options are.

It's never too early to think about how you'll transition to maternity leave. In fact, you might head off your boss' anxiety by proactively figuring out how the work will get done while you're gone. First, consider who will be able to cover for you. Is there someone who does the same job as you or who is interested in learning the skills that come with your position? That person might be ideal to take on some of your responsibilities.

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